


Control

by alrightginger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Lily the control freak, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrightginger/pseuds/alrightginger
Summary: He always thought he’d be more in control with his first time with Lily. He realizes now how stupid that sounds. Lily enjoys being in charge. She thrives off instructing others.He thinks he’s halfway to developing a new kink when she tells him not to move, and he realizes that it’s actually torture, this new thing he likes.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 103





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> Have some really bad smut to celebrate me reaching 900 followers on tumblr.

It starts, as most things do with James, by complete accident. 

He hasn’t seen Lily since they were eighteen when they were just graduating and heading off into the real world. Once they got there, the real world swallowed them and their friendship whole, leaving only memories. 

There wasn’t some sort of harsh falling out between the two of them. Just enough of a void left by their silence that they lost each other in it. 

So he shouldn’t have been surprised that when they did finally meet up after five years, they picked up right where they left off. 

And then slingshot themselves twenty steps ahead of that after one too many drinks. 

He knows he’s most likely kissing her with too much vigor. Perhaps a bit too sloppily, but he’s wanted to kiss her for so long. Ever since he was 16 and she painted his number on her cheeks for a home game, and screamed for him to kick some ass from the stands. 

She doesn’t seem to mind the hasty kissing or the way they stumble and slam into his flat door. 

In fact, she’s encouraging it. Tugging on his hair and whining into his mouth. 

“Keys,” she begs when the door doesn’t budge. 

“I’m trying,” he growls back, vibrating the words across her throat. 

He’s too many drinks in to figure out which key opens the door for the first time. This should be the first sign that maybe this isn’t such a good idea. That meeting your childhood best friend in a bar after five years maybe warrants more of a number exchange than a hookup, but Lily takes him by the shirt collar and drags him away from the train of thought and into the bedroom. 

“You’re so fit,” she says, her voice wavering. She pushes him down on the bed, and then tangles her hands in her hair with wide eyes as she inspects him. “You’re so fucking fit I want to  _ cry.”  _

“Please don’t do that,” James says, propping himself up on his elbows. “I’m a sympathetic crier. I’ll start crying too.”

“I’ve always thought so, you know. The fact that you’re fit,” she says, crawling across the bed to straddle him. Her hands begin to work on the buttons of his shirt. It takes her a few tries to get the first one undone, but James can’t seem to look away from her to help.

“Really?”

“Oh yes,” she says, nodding. She tugs on the last two buttons in frustration. “Back when we were just kids, and you played football.  _ God,  _ I felt so  _ filthy  _ when I let my thoughts stray to you.”

James is nearly about to ask her to explain her filthy fantasies in great detail so they can compare notes over the ones he had over her when she tugs her own shirt over her head, and he decides he’d much rather act them out. 

Her mouth is on him again, and he feels like it’s everywhere. It blazes a trail from his lips to his throat to his chest, and by the time it gets down to the waistband of his jeans, he’s a panting mess. 

He always thought he’d be more in control with his first time with Lily. He realizes now how stupid that sounds. Lily enjoys being in charge. She thrives off instructing others. 

He thinks he’s halfway to developing a new kink when she tells him not to move, and he realizes that it’s actually torture, this new thing he likes. 

“Hands by your sides,” she says, gripping his wrists forcefully on the bed. 

“But…” he whimpers, and she smirks. “I  _ want  _ to touch you.”

“You’ll get your turn,” she tells him. “Ladies first though. I’ve been dreaming of this moment since I was sixteen. Let me have it.”

He relents after that willingly. He doesn’t even bother to tell her that he’s wanted it for just as long as she has. It doesn’t seem to matter right now. 

The only things that do are her own needs and wants, and he restrains himself as she gives into them. 

His eyes are closed as he feels the desperation in her touch, the palms of her hands flattening out over his bare stomach. 

“You’re so firm,” she says, testing another spot. She lets out a groan. “You’re just as fit as I thought you’d feel. My god, I’m going to die tonight, aren’t I?”

Despite the flames he’s feeling everywhere she touches, James manages to laugh at this. 

“You’ve always been so dramatic, Evans,” he says, the muscles of his stomach twitching as she runs her hands up and down them. “I’m hardly lethal.” 

“Hmm,” she hums, and he’s not certain she’s actually listening to him. Her hands find the button of his trousers and with much more precision than she had just moments before, she undoes it, tugging them down and leaving him with just a pair of boxers and a fairly impressive tent. 

The beginning of some smart mouthed joke is on the tip of his tongue, but the only thing that comes out is a hiss as she touches him over the fabric of his boxers. 

It’s probably pathetic, the way he’s reacting to her touch, but he can’t seem to mind. 

“Evans,” he growls, head back against the metal bars of his bed frame. He certainly  _ feels  _ like he’s sixteen again, the way he’s nearly about to come apart from Lily Evans simply stroking him through his underwear. 

Maybe it’s a good thing he had to wait this long. 

She would have killed sixteen year old James Potter. 

“No touching,” she says when one of his hands raises it way up to attempt to grip her hip. She shoves it back down into the bed, and his fingers twist into the sheets. “Wait your turn.”

“You’re driving me crazy,” he protests, hips bucking into her hand. “I’ve waited forever for this. Please, Evans.”

She lets out a little snort of a laugh before lowering herself down on her belly between his legs. 

“Keep your hands still,” she orders. “Let me take care of you. I don’t need any help with this.”

_ With what?  _

She answers his unspoken question herself when she pulls him gently out of his boxers, and if he thought her stroking him before was torture, this is absolutely going be his undoing. He feels her breath before she kisses the tip of him in such a gentle, tender gesture that he’s surprised by the haggard sound he lets out. 

He sounds as helpless as he feels right now. 

Without being able to touch her, he can’t seem to ground himself, so when she takes him fully into her mouth - cheeks hollowing, the vibration of her groan radiating off of him - he nearly loses touch with reality. 

For this simply cannot be real. 

Lily Evans cannot possibly have his cock in her mouth. 

This is all still just a fantasy. Something he’s stored up in his head that’s seemingly so real that he’s gone slightly mad.

But when she begins to suck and lick, he knows it’s better than anything he could have come up with on his own. 

He isn’t allowed to touch her yet, so he can’t reach out to grip her hair to make her pick up the maddening pace she’s set, so he grabs at his own hair instead when the bedsheets won’t cut it any longer. 

“Evans,  _ Evans,”  _ he pleads, feeling himself coming undone. He won’t last like this. He isn’t made to withstand this much. “Please.. _ please…” _

He isn’t even sure what he’s begging for. Release, touch, control.He can’t quite wrap his mind around what he physically wants at this moment. All that he knows is that he is _ begging,  _ and it’s the first time in his life that he’s ever done so. But he’s not above such things when it comes to her. 

She releases him with an obscene  _ pop,  _ and he looks down at her with wide blown eyes. 

“Do you want to touch me now?” she asks softly, sitting up and unhooking her bra. She lets it drop slowly onto the floor. 

“Please --  _ please  _ let me touch you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She crawls up until she’s straddling him again, and he knows that she’s not ready to relinquish full control just yet, but he’s willing to play this game for as long as she asks him to. Her hand reaches to take his own, and place it over her right breast. Right where she wants it. 

“Here?” she asks, pushing into him with purpose so he grips her more firmly. 

_ “Yes,”  _ he begs, his eyes clouded over with lust. She’s in a fog now that they’ve created with their game, and even just this simple touch isn’t cutting it. He needs more. He’s selfish and spoiled and has never been made to wait this long, and he thinks she may break him. 

She seems to realize what he needs and takes pity on him. 

And,  _ god,  _ he adores her mercy. 

“Use your mouth,” she orders, moving her hand from his and winding it into his hair so she still has control over his movement. When he approaches her with too much vigor, she tugs on his hair to hold him back until he whimpers to signal that he’ll go slower. That he’ll behave. 

She lets him move again, and he feels himself shudder with restraint. 

She sighs as his mouth closes around her breast, her fingers threading themselves into his hair as he gently sucks. She rewards his pace by taking his other hand and placing it on her body, allowing it to move freely wherever it so chooses. 

“Oh, that’s good,” she whines. He sucks and then lets go and then latches back on again. Repeating like that for several moments. “You’re so good, James. Oh, I like that.”

He swells with pride at her words. At the fact that he’s being  _ good  _ for her. He’s always enjoyed pleasing her. Making her happy. Back when they were kids, and now in this entirely new and different way that they’ve discovered. He likes knowing he has the ability to make her feel this way. 

Slightly unhinged. 

A few moments pass like this, James eagerly touching her in any way she’ll allow and Lily in his lap, when her hips start to move against his and the friction of her jeans start to become too much. He releases her, hissing slightly, and silently pleading with her for more. 

_ Please, please just a bit more.  _

He is so touch starved for her, he doesn’t think he can stand it if he doesn’t get more soon. 

Her eyes have moved from amused to something damn near animalistic when she hurriedly tugs her own pants down, kicking them off until she’s completely unclad in front of him. 

She’s gorgeous. He wants to tell her so, but his voice is lodged in his throat so he simply whines.

“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” she says, never being one at a loss for words. She settles herself overtop of him again. “After all these years…”

James can’t seem to tell her that he feels the same. He’s beyond the ability to ever speak, again apparently, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She kisses his Adam's apple as he swallows and she sinks down on him. Like everything else so far, she’s slow in her movements. Deliberate. She sinks down on him a bit at a time, taking all that he has to give until she’s fully settled with a sigh. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” she babbles, taking a few deep breaths as she adjusts. “Oh, you’re fit in every way. Fuck, James.”

James tries to chuckle but it comes out as a groan instead. His hands twitch at her ribcage, unsure if he’s allowed to move them to help. He waits for her to let him know as he feels her stretch around him. 

He had expected her to be a lot of things. Wet, warm, nearly perfect. Ever since he was sixteen, she had been the subject of many of the restless nights when he would slip his hand beneath his waistband. 

But when she starts to move, she shatters any expectations he’s ever had of her. 

He should have expected nothing less.

She’s better than anything he could have ever imagined. 

“Fuck, Evans,” he groans as she controls the movements. He feels like he’s turning feral. It isn’t enough, and yet it’s perfect. She’s controlling how much she gives, and yet giving him everything until he can’t handle it. 

She’s a beautiful contradiction, and he can never seem to wrap his mind around her. 

The pace she sets is slow at first. It’s rolling friction. It’s meant for her to savor him, while he’s finding himself becoming greedy for more.

She’s a whiner. 

She’s more vocal than he would have thought possible. 

He never would have imagined her as such a thing, but she gasps into his ear and it’s nearly his undoing. 

“Oh,  _ oh, oh!”  _ she breathes, and he leans his head back as her voice vibrates against his earlobe. “Please, god. Just like that, just like that.”

Her movements start to pick up, finding an angle she likes and arching her back into it. With his hands frozen to her side, there’s nothing he can do but hold onto her. He’s entirely at her mercy, and it’s such a wonderful place to find himself. 

He is dizzy with her. 

The feeling of her around him causing him to lose himself, and he lets out a choking sound as she clenches around him. 

He loses himself fully a second later, gasping and falling into her shoulder as he comes, Lily’s hold on the back of his head tightening and pulling him back down to earth. She follows a second later, shaking around him as he lays still slumped against her. 

For a while, they stay like that. Sitting against each other, panting, sweating, both of them spent. Neither willing or wanting to move. Finally, when James feels as though he can lift his forehead from her shoulder without completely shattering, he looks up at her, grinning. 

“That was --” he trails off, finding himself being completely inarticulate. There are no words to describe what just happened between them. He isn’t sure he even wants to try.

“I know,” Lily says, understanding. She kisses him once against the lips. Gently, so gently that he melts. 

He’ll stay like this for however long she’ll let him. 

She’s the one in control. 

His grin curves against her lips and he lets his own go. 


End file.
